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Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn\'t cure.
Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
Physics is not a religion. If it were, we\'d have a much easier time raising money.
The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.
I agree with the reforms, but I want nothing to change
Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.
You can pretend to be serious; you can\'t pretend to be witty.
The worst crimes were dared by a few, willed by more and tolerated by all.
The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said \'no\'.
Hanlon\'s Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.
Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other.
Gigerenzer\'s Law of Indispensable Ignorance: The world cannot function without partially ignorant people.
If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?
Roses are #FF0000 Violets are #0000FF All my base are belong to you!
In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear.
I hate those men who would send into war youth to fight and die for them; the pride and cowardice of those old men, making their wars that boys must die.
The perfect computer has been developed. You just feed in your problems and they never come out again.
If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn\'t.
Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can\'t remember what they are.
Momma always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you\'re gonna get.
Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they\'re eating sandwiches.
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I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
The de facto role of the US armed forces will be to keep the world safe for our economy and open to our cultural assault.
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Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
You can pretend to be serious; you can\'t pretend to be witty.
It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren\'t, then I\'d be a teacher.
Men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all the other alternatives.
Many a man\'s reputation would not know his character if they met on the street.
Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
There\'s no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.
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Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.
Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!
Always do right- this will gratify some and astonish the rest.
There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.
Having the source code is the difference between buying a house and renting an apartment.
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Richard Nixon is a no good, lying bastard. He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time, and if he ever caught himself telling the truth, he\'d lie just to keep his hand in.
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You\'d be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men.
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
Under conditions of competition, standards are set by the morally least reputable agent.
I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.
Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
Ever notice when you blow in a dog\'s face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?
I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.
To jaw-jaw is always better than to war-war.
Never test for an error condition you don\'t know how to handle.
If a man does his best, what else is there?
We\'ve all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.
I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.
The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
I don\'t pray because I don\'t want to bore God.
You\'ll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.
Java, the best argument for Smalltalk since C++.
Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital.
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
He managed to stupid himself right into the White House.
Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.
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\'Everything you say is boring and incomprehensible\', she said, \'but that alone doesn\'t make it true.\'
Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?
There is no idea so simple and powerful that you can\'t get zillions of people to misunderstand it.
Many a man\'s reputation would not know his character if they met on the street.
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The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There\'s also a negative side
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.
UNIX is simple. It just takes a genius to understand its simplicity.
The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.
To the Honourable Member opposite I say, when he goes home tonight, may his mother run out from under the porch and bark at him
But at my back I always hear Time\'s winged chariot hurrying near.
Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known.
Many a man\'s reputation would not know his character if they met on the street.
Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains.
Devlin\'s First Law - Buyer beware: in the hands of a charlatan, mathematics can be used to make a vacuous argument look impressive. Devlin\'s Second Law - So can PowerPoint.
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Behind every great fortune there is a crime.
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I\'m not sure about the former.
Chaos Theory is a new theory invented by scientists panicked by the thought that the public were beginning to understand the old ones.
Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
Look at you in war. There has never been a just one, never an honorable one, on the part of the instigator of the war.
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When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.
A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny.
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It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.
If you haven\'t got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.
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An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.
We totally deny the allegations, and we are trying to identify the allegators.
Our government has kept us in a perpetual state of fear - kept us in a continuous stampede of patriotic fervor - with the cry of grave national emergency.
The belief in the possibility of a short decisive war appears to be one of the most ancient and dangerous of human illusions.
I\'ve had a wonderful time, but this wasn\'t it.
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I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer.
Real punks help little old ladies across the street because it shocks more people than if they spit on the sidewalk.
Emulate your heros, but don\'t carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.
If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
Research is what I\'m doing when I don\'t know what I\'m doing.
Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.
You can pretend to be serious; you can\'t pretend to be witty.
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
The cry has been that when war is declared, all opposition should be hushed. A sentiment more unworthy of a free country could hardly be propagated.
Silence is argument carried out by other means.
I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn\'t work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
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Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official...
So I rang up a local building firm, I said \'I want a skip outside my house.\' He said \'I\'m not stopping you.\'
I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass.
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
Hofstadter\'s Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter\'s Law.
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I\'m not there, I go to work.
Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.
There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.
Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.
Anyone who starts a sentence, \'With all due respect ...\' is about to insult you.
It\'s clearly a budget. It\'s got a lot of numbers in it.
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If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check.
Cholesterol is your natural defence against excessive circulation of blood, which can carry venoms, poisons and other toxins around your body.
It\'s clearly a budget. It\'s got a lot of numbers in it.
A hen is only an egg痴 way of making another egg.
Experience is what you get when you were expecting something else.
We should leave our minds open, but not so open that our brains fall out.
The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.
Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.
If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
Look at you in war. There has never been a just one, never an honorable one, on the part of the instigator of the war.
最終更新日 : 2012/01/26/(Thu) 10:28
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